Stuck in a Sexless Marriage? Start With These 4 Questions
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Summary
So you’ve found yourself in a sexless marriage. Here are four areas to look at to figure out why and whether you’re in a sexless marriage or just a sexless season. Clinically speaking, a sexless marriage means about 10 or fewer sexual encounters a year. But I’ve sat with plenty of couples who have sex more often and still feel like they just aren’t intimate anymore. Either way, it’s less about the lack of sex and more about the rejection and frustration and anger and everything that goes with it. But you’re here and your spouse isn’t, so start with what you can see and what you’re bringing to the table. 4 AREAS TO LOOK AT • Context: Are there medical issues, hormones, a new baby or a serious diagnosis? Sometimes it takes courage to put your ego aside and be honest about what’s going on in your house. • Environment: When you walk in the door, do your shoulders drop or get more tense? Have you been clear with your spouse about what you want? • Season: Are you in grad school? Do you have four kids under five, a ton of debt, and second jobs? You may be in a winter season. That’s not to say things are broken. It just means things are cold right now. • Priority: Putting sex and intimacy on the calendar shows it matters. Intentionality is not a sign of a failing marriage. If your spouse has made it clear they no longer want to be in this marriage, be honest about that, and go see a licensed mental health professional who can walk you through your right next steps. Need ideas for small, intentional ways to move toward your spouse? Download the Together app. → https://ter.li/924nbkng ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 So you’ve found yourself in a sexless marriage. 00:16 What counts as a sexless marriage? 00:48 Sexless marriage or sexless season? 01:00 Area 1: What’s your context (medical, hormones, a new baby)? 02:19 Area 2: What’s your home environment? 03:22 Have you told your spouse what you want? 04:24 Area 3: What season are you in? 05:08 Area 4: Do you prioritize sex and connection? 06:18 Survival sex: “We’ve got seven minutes. Are you in?” 06:54 When your spouse doesn’t want to be married anymore 07:42 What are you bringing to the table? 09:08 Sleep vs. sex: why sleep keeps winning 09:43 A better marriage is possible. ——— 🗒️ Get on the same page with your spouse. Download the FREE Weekly Rundown: https://ramsey.solutions/b2o8jgdd 🎙️ Watch The Dr. John Delony Show: https://www.youtube.com/c/johndelony Products: Building the Marriage You Want: https://ramsey.solutions/bgw7gjv9 Questions For Humans: Intimacy: https://ter.li/rryffo Questions For Humans: Couples: https://ter.li/2c57ll Own Your Past, Change Your Future: https://ramsey.solutions/ypd9if Building a Non-Anxious Life: https://ter.li/fyhaoy Questions for Humans: Dating: https://ter.li/0hu7rd Questions for Humans: Parents and Teens: https://ter.li/vbrgat Questions for Humans: Parents & Kids: https://ter.li/cuuwxv New! Get Clear Career Assessment: Find the Work You’re Wired to Do: https://ter.li/89pkaw Questions for Humans: Friends: https://ter.li/zbqd67 Questions for Humans: Grandparents and Grandkids: https://ter.li/dkpglk
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