People-Pleasing: Why Saying No Makes You Feel Guilty
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Summary
Head to https://solaray.yt.link/hGQJf04 and use code KATIMORTON People-pleasing can make saying no feel like doing something wrong, even when your no is completely reasonable. The guilt after saying no can be so uncomfortable that you over-explain, over-apologize, or change your answer just to make the guilt stop. Often it started in childhood, when being easy, helpful and "mature for your age" was how you stayed connected. In this video, we explore why saying no feels so much bigger than it is, how we learn to keep people happy, and the difference between actually doing something wrong and simply disappointing someone. We also talk about why we over-explain and over-apologize, why someone else's disappointment feels so personal, and practical steps to say no without talking yourself out of it. Someone being disappointed in your answer doesn't automatically make it the wrong answer. Their reaction is information, not an instruction. CHAPTERS 00:00 Why Do I Feel Guilty When I Say No? 00:25 Why No Can Feel Wrong 03:05 How We Learn to Keep People Happy 06:50 Guilt vs. Actually Doing Something Wrong 10:47 Why We Over-Explain and Over-Apologize 13:58 Why Their Disappointment Feels So Personal 15:47 Their Reaction Is Information, Not an Instruction 17:46 How to Say No Without Talking Yourself Out of It 18:38 Keep Your No Shorter Than Your Anxiety Wants 19:02 Expect Some Guilt 19:53 Pause Before You Reverse Your Decision 21:02 Feedback or Permission? 22:10 Letting the Decision Stand Subscribe for more conversations about mental health, relationships, and understanding ourselves. MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY - Enjoy 10% OFF your first month If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati (this is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Substack https://substack.com/@katimorton1 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ BUSINESS INQUIRIES Contact Linnea Toney at linnea@underscoretalent.com Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #Guilt
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